how can i pray so god will answer?

by Madi Stonier

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Have you ever wondered how to get all your prayers answered like Jesus did? Jesus invited us to ask our Father for anything in His name and it would be given (John 14:13-17), yet sometimes my prayers don’t seem to “work.”

Asking Before You Ask in Prayer

One night I initiated a theological dialogue with my family: why were Jesus’ prayers always so effective? After two hours, we identified the key to Jesus’ example: praying the will of His Father. Jesus only said and did what the Father was doing, hence all His prayers were answered (John 5:19). God also reminded us of 1 John 5:14-15, “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.” Boom that’s it! Instead of asking God to fulfill my desires, I needed to start asking what His desires are. To know His specific will, I needed to ask him. Prayer requires a lot more listening rather than speaking (Ecclesiastes 5:1-2).

Prayer Experiment #1: Asking in a Custody Crisis

​I tested this hypothesis the next day. I roped a family member into praying with me for a friend whose ex-husband was trying to keep her daughter from her during the holidays.

So, we first asked God to speak to us about this situation, we sensed an immediate response: “I have 100% custody of this little girl and I choose where she goes and who she spends time with.” We thanked Him for this reality, and then asked, “Lord, how do we pray for this situation?” As we listened attentively, I saw a picture of a courtroom in my mind’s eye then sensed Him say, “Imagine you are bringing the parents before me as guilty for sinning against each other and their child, then ask for my grace and mercy to forgive them both.” So together we did what he said. We felt our job was done. God’s primary concern was showing forgiveness and mercy to this family. God’s ways are not our ways: his will is always to accomplish a greater work.

Amazingly, just one hour later, my friend texted to say that all the threats were reversed and she would get to be with her daughter over the holidays! She had no idea we had just been praying for her. Not only did we see God shift that situation, but to this day, my friend and her ex-husband continue to find peace and agreement in ways they never had before.

Prayer Experiment #2: Asking for Business Acumen

A few weeks later my sister wanted to try this way of praying for her business. She needed to make some big decisions, so we asked God how to pray.

I felt an impression, “Pray for more faith.” So, we asked, “how do we pray for more faith?’’ The following thought came to mind, “Faith comes by hearing the Word of the Lord, so pray for her ears to be cleared out from all blockages.” Then we asked, “how do we pray for her ears to be cleared out?” We both felt that she needed to respond by cleaning out her ears with cotton swabs, as a sign of her agreement that God’s will was for her to hear Him more clearly.

The next day, several things happened that made it clear that God was moving to push her business in the direction He wanted her to go. We were amazed and immediately praised God for showing us what he wanted us to pray… and answering!

Stepping Up in Asking Prayer

Learning to pray-by-asking has required a new level of faith. Sometimes it can feel that we are praying in vain. But every time we have asked God to show us how to pray, he responds.

Things shift in the spirit-realm when we agree with the will of God. The hardest part is to give up my will and desires, so I ask God to clear my mind and emotions before praying to hear Him clearly. As prayer becomes a conversation where I am asking questions about what to ask rather than making petitions of my own, prayer has become active, efficient, and exciting! I am listening for His will rather than speaking out my own will. I believe this is how Jesus showed us to pray so that His will can be done on earth as it is in heaven.

MADI STONIER

Madi Stonier is passionate about unlocking Christians to have an experiential connection to God through merging psychology, spiritual formation and neuroscience. She is a Licensed Therapist and President of The Healing Center in San Diego, California. Currently, she is spearheading a new initiative to facilitate seminars and workshops that promote the integration of mental health in both the church and corporate environments. Connect with her on IG @madistonier.