is my life having any impact?

I changed another diaper as my newborn cried screams that I was sure the neighbors could hear. It was 4am; I’d slept 90 minutes that night. This whole new-mom-thing was the biggest adjustment of my life. Bigger than grad school. Bigger than marriage.

What was hardest?

If I’m honest, it was the feeling that my big, kingdom-impacting dreams of my twenties had evaporated. Gone. The path to a large-scale career with a platform to share the hope of Jesus across the world was replaced with the diaper changing table in front of me. Let me be clear: this new season had many blessings. The gift of my son far exceeded my prayers! But it changed me: I faced new limitations, challenges, and needed to let some dreams be reshaped.

I think one of the strengths of our generation is that we care deeply about living impactful lives to the world and culture around us. And if you follow Jesus, you call that a desire to make Kingdom impact with your life. I love that this unquenchable desire often keeps us lying awake at night. But what I don’t love is how when life seasons or circumstances derail your “platform” or overwhelm your schedule, often a paralyzing fear of not making an impact at all slowly creeps in, resulting in immobilization altogether.

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I’ve been recently convicted in my current season with the reminder of what God says about impact.

1. Even the little bit counts. One of the stories Jesus chose to highlight to his disciples was the poor widow who gave an offering of two very small coins. Jesus tells his disciples that this woman gave more than all of the other offerings because hers came out of poverty—literally all she had. It was a sacrifice. She gave what she could, all she could, in her limited circumstances. What are you still able to give or contribute to in the midst of your current limitations? What causes, opportunities, and relationships in your life can you impact?

2. Quality really does supersede quantity. We’ve too easily bought into our culture’s thinking that numbers are the main marker of success. When I read the Scriptures, I see quality taking precedence over quantity in the Kingdom. Why else would Jesus talk about a shepherd who leaves 99 sheep to pursue the 1 lost sheep? This would’ve sounded foolish to anyone who heard it! Who is the one person who Jesus has burdened your heart for in this season of your life? What small, practical steps can you take to impact that person’s life?

3. Inventory the lives around you. In every season of your life, God has intentionally placed people in your spheres of influence: your neighbors, coworkers, classmates, friends. Look for opportunities to share your story with them. Listen to their hurts and struggles. Share honestly your own. Offer to pray with them. Ask God for opportunity to share your faith with them.

4. Remember who you serve. Our God is a God of multiplication. He’s famous for taking little and multiplying it into much. This same principle applies to the seeds you’re planting around you now. The seeds that seem insignificant (reading a bedtime story to your child, taking your 80-year old neighbor out to coffee, praying with your coworker) are in the hands of a God who is known for multiplying and creating a harvest. You may never know the Kingdom impact those seeds have.

When I look more honestly at the question I’ve been wrestling with: “is my life having any impact?” – the real question I’m asking beneath the surface is: “am I okay with surrendering my glamorous dreams and ready to accept the call He’s put in front of me?” It’s humbling, even painful to ask myself. Yet I know deep down that God’s intentions for my life are far greater than even the most alluring plan I’ve drawn up.

Friend, let me encourage you with the truth that God has placed a call unique to your life within you. That call is designed to create Kingdom impact. You are meant for Kingdom impact. But we can’t forget that God’s Kingdom is often called the “upside-down Kingdom” for a reason. It’s a Kingdom where even the little bit counts. The diaper changes in the middle of the night. The twentieth conversation you’ve had over and over with that one friend that finally leads to her following Jesus. The sacrifice that is nothing but two small coins to the world, but to you is all you have to give. We serve a God who can multiply our little, limited, broken seeds into a bountiful harvest, and we can trust Him with our lives—and our desire to make an impact.

Rachel Lohman

Rachel is a pastor in Southern California who loves tap dancing, running marathons, and speaking. As an aspiring author, she’s passionate about helping women connect their stories of brokenness with the redemption of God’s story, and practicing the way of Jesus alongside her husband and baby boy. She’d love to connect with you on Instagram @rachel.lohman!